She should be very happy, but…translated…
My friend posted the amazing photograph of her garden, it was, very beautiful, but with the captions, “The same scenery, but because of the differences in people, the different times, different angle, you’d see different things.”, and all of us wrote back, “What’s wrong?”, “Did you finally gotten some enlightenment from the Zen classes you’d started taking?”
My friend told me privately, that they’d finally gotten used to taking the community college courses, to fill up their empty nest, and gotten adjusted to how their children are all away at college, working on their master’s, going to serve in the army, taking up internships, a close to eight years’ worth of empty nest, and these couple of years, their kids returned home and successfully found jobs at home, moved back into their house, and, made her household active again.
not my photograph…
Last year when the typhoons hit, her house started leaking, they’d originally just wanted to fix up the pipes, but, seeing how the property they’d lived in for nearly forty years, and starting contemplating on giving their home a total makeover. The two of them started drawing up the blueprints, thinking, that their kids are old enough, and asked for their inputs also; but, as their son who was a designs major and her daughter who’s a teacher chimed in, their avant-garde beliefs, whether it be on the colors of the rooms, the walls, the floors, and the furniture, was sharply in contrast with their original plans; even, that back lanai which they were able to enjoy looking out into the courtyard, her daughter had wanted to put the windows in, to keep a space for hanging up the laundry, the underwear, and prevent the rains from splashing all over the clothes. Wow, turns out, that the kids have a TON of opinions for where they live too!
And seeing how she’d asked for her kids’ inputs, she’d not wanted to turn them away. But, my good friend was, struggling, and decided, that she will be in charge of her personal private living space, and took her daughter’s suggestions on the lanai, and used her son’s designs for the living room, and, the kitchens and the front lanai, will be given to her best friend to do as she saw fit, to show that she was fair in considering everything.
These two weeks, as the two of them walked into their remodeling home, they couldn’t help but think to themselves: is this, my house? Is this, a place I want to live in the futures? But, seeing how happy their children are, my friend can only, pipe down, to not rain on their parades.
My friend decided, to make a few more visits to her “new” home on her own, before the reconstructions are finally completed, and tell herself, “Although I hadn’t quite adapted yet, but I will, try to, accept it!”, she’d made fun of herself, that this, was a great place to begin adjusting, and, if the man and woman their children brought home didn’t fit their likings, they’d already, have learned, to adapt, and adjust already.
not my photograph…
So, this, is the result of having someone else’s input on how you want to remodel your place, and maybe, at the very start, you thought, that it would be a good family project, but you failed to realize, that the kids are going to have differences of opinions than you, and this showed, how the process of negotiating became just ONE-WAY, and it is your place, and if you can’t even feel comfortable in it, then, you should speak UP, and stop worrying about if your kids are going to feel displeased by your statements, after all, these, ARE the FOUR walls that the two of you will live in for a long time (I’m thinkin’…), and your kids will only come home, once every week, right??? Like on the weekends???