The sentiments of a mother, translated…
There’s this saying of “raising the first born child by the book, and, allowing the second child to slide.” But, my eldest was, never treated as such, and instead, because of his place in the family, as the eldest, he’d needed to sacrifice some of the rights to be taken care of, to be pampered, as a child growing up.
When my eldest was not yet two years of age, he was sent to pre-kindergarten, because his younger brother was about to be born. At this time, he was still learning to say the simple words and phrases, still in diapers too, and, he’d had to follow my husband out to work from nine to five. And, oftentimes, he’d waken up early, and cried to me, “I want to stay at home”, “I can’t even draw…”, “the teachers would scold me, I’m so scared…”, etc., etc., etc., and, although my heart went out to him, but I’d still needed to, harden up my heart, because there truly, isn’t, another pair of hands that could look after him at home.
And, maybe, it’s a part of his personality, he’d always accepted his parents’ arrangements for him. When he was in the elementary years, he’d told me, that the instructor at his afterschool program was mean, and would physically punish him, but, he’d never stated that he’s not going there anymore. At which time, his “work hours” became even longer, from seven to seven, because there are two younger brothers at home, and I just couldn’t manage to take care of three of them together, and so, he’d had to, stay for a bit longer at the afterschool programs; but, his younger brothers would insist on NEVER going to the afterschool programs, and so, I can only, put myself out, taking him after school, to my mother-in-law’s house. I’m really glad, that my firstborn never gave me such a hard time.
On his college entrance exam, because the preparations were truly very hard for him, so, he’d made up his mind, to not take the exams again if he’d gotten accepted into a school. As the scores from the exams were posted, he’d become excited, continually telling me of his blueprints of his college life, and exclaimed how wonderful the environment of Chinghwa University is. Seeing how excited he became, I’d become somewhat, worried, is it truly, a good fit, for him to study in the engineering majors, based off of his personality traits and his area of expertise? After I’d consulted him, I’d signed him up for the police academy. My eldest son told me, even IF he was accepted into the police academy, he would NEVER go there, because he’d longed for that freedom that comes with going away to college. I’d told him, just give the exams a try, and he’d still had the final calls that he will be making, without my interferences.
He’d complied with the preliminary exams and the secondary exams, and, he’d gotten in, and, he, who was so set on never attending the police university still chose, to enter into this university that he never plan to apply to. I’d understood, that being complying to his parents, he’d made this choice for himself, the biggest considerations are for the family’s economics, to help lessen the strains on his father and I. And, toward this eldest child that I’d raised with little care, as his mother, I’d felt, that I’m in debt to him.
from the Newspapers…
And now, he’d become so trained physically, and, he’d started, telling me of the blueprints of his own life with excitement again. And this, is my eldest son, never needing his parents to worry about him. And, this son who’s been extremely well-behaved, but called slow-to-act son, has a very bright future ahead of him.
And so, this, is how the eldest children are, because they know, that they can’t worry their parents, so, they’re mostly very responsible, keeping themselves in check, and, did everything that they were told to, just like this guy, whose mother had not had the time to care for him, he’d still grown up, to become, a well-rounded man, and, says W-H-O first child is always “by the book”???