Shaking Hands to Make Nice

On the socialization of the young child here, translated…

My Young Granddaughter Started Learning the Ways to Socialize to Get What She’d Wanted, and, Grandma, Has a Way, of Dissolving………

Heidi’s Interpersonal Skills

My young granddaughter, Heidi had started learning the ways to socialize, to get what she’d wanted, but, grandma has a way, of dissolving her methods, to make her work hard, for what she’d wanted.

from the newspapers here…

Because she’d thrown a temper tantrum and got reprimanded by grandma, she’d intentionally show that intimacy toward Grandpa or Auntie. One day, grandpa went back to Taichung, and auntie was off and stayed at her house all day long, she’d intentionally not gotten close to grandma, but, had intentionally, kissed her aunties’ cheeks, in front of grandma, to get grandma to feel jealous.

As she was about to head outdoors, she’d not allowed grandma to put her shoes on for her, stated that she’d wanted her auntie to do it. Grandma said, “If you don’t like grandma at all, then, grandma won’t go out with you guys now!”, she’d become, somewhat, stunned, her youngest aunt stepped up and attempted to resolve this, “Just let Grandma come with us!”, she’d said, using an old-fashioned manner, “Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, fine then, grandma can come.” And, all the way there, she may have detected that something was awfully wrong, and she’d passionately begged to hold grandma’s hands.

Once, as Heidi returned back to Grandma’s in the afternoon, Grandma welcomed her in, made her beef noodle soup. She’d insisted that she can feed herself, used her fork, worked hard at the food. As Grandma sat close by, watching, she couldn’t help, but planted a kiss on her hand. And, Heidi became angered, pulled her hand back, exclaimed, “You CAN’T KISS my hand!”

Grandma asked, “Then, can mommy kiss your hand?” “Yes.” “How about daddy?”, “Yes”, her youngest aunt sitting close by asked, “Can I, kiss your hand?” “Yes.”

Grandma was now, hit hard, she’d said to Heidi angrily, “Grandma had done so much for you, and you’d not allowed me to kiss your hand, if that’s how you want it, then, grandma will leave the room, and work on her own things.” Grandma left, went to the study to type. Within five minutes’ time, Heidi appeared right next to grandma, told grandma, “You can’t kiss my hand, but, you can kiss my cheeks.” And, Grandma became, ecstatic, at this extra “gain”.

Later on, she’d heard the youngest aunt told, after Heidi saw Grandma leave, she’d become, somewhat, panicky. Her youngest aunt asked her, “Why won’t you allow grandma to kiss your hand, what happens now, grandma is mad?”, Heidi thought a short while, said, “Grandma can kiss my cheeks.” Then, continued talking to herself, “Grandma’s heartbroken, then, I shall go and tell her that she’s allowed to kiss my cheeks now!”, and so, Grandma got the extra of being allowed to kiss her on the cheek, who CARES about kissing her hands now!

The Headstrong Child and Grandma

Heidi is the delicate character in the novel that throws a lot of tantrums. She’d refused to share with her younger sister, the younger sister wanted in on the older sister and grandma’s games, she’d blocked her from joining them with her life, she’d slammed the door to the toy room shut hard. I’d told her, “Nor-Nor is also my cherished, grandma feels bad that she cries on outside the door, just let Nor-Nor in.” Heidi held her grounds, and, Grandma, because of being pushed, stated, “Nor-Nor was willing to share with you, but you’re too unkind to not want to share with her, and Grandma has to be fair, and I will only play with Nor-Nor. When you want to play with her, then, come and find us then.” She’d refused to back down, being stubborn, returned, “I’ll find auntie to play with me.” And, her auntie was working from her room, couldn’t play for too long, she’d become disappointed and entered into the living room. Gladly, her baby sister was too tired, napping now, Grandma and her found a way back down the steps, and, they’d started, playing happily.

Every now and then when Grandma went on the computer to check out her FB account activities, Heidi would run over and warn grandma, “Grandma, don’t sit in front of the computer too long.” Grandma saw how cute she was, demanded for a kiss, Heidi fought back, refused. I’d asked her, “Didn’t we agree, kisses on the cheeks and not the hands.” Heidi showed her autonomy, “Not now!”

A short while later, she’d entered into the room again, asked, “Grandma! I want the markers, please get them for me.” Grandma was angry, “No.” Heidi pointed to the markers on my desk, I’d told her, “Yes, there are markers, but, they’re MINE, I won’t give it to you, you won’t let me kiss you, so, I will NOT give you my markers either.”, she’d turned around, left the room.

A little while later, she’d come back in, to ask for some papers, Grandma still refused, and, she’d walked away just like the last time.

Grandma carried her laser pointing pen into the living room, sang on, and, allowed the red dot from the laxer pointing pen to dance on the walls. Heidi became longing, but couldn’t cave first, she’d intentionally asked, “What’s that?”, Grandma said, “I will NOT tell the one, who doesn’t allow me to kiss her on the cheeks.” She’d walked in front of me, lifted her head, showed her chin, said, “You can’t kiss my cheeks, but you can kiss my chin.” Such, a stubborn child, with a grandma that’s really, getting too bored! And, the pair of young and old, had, shaken hands and made amends again.

And so, this, is the socialization of the child, she’d only started to understood what is hers, and what isn’t, and, from this, you can see, that the child believed that her cheeks are saved for those who are closest to her, like her parents, but, the child learned to compromise, because her grandma had something she wanted, and, she’d made up her mind about getting what she’d wanted from her grandmother…