Original Sin
Translated…
This is a very tiny café, as the door get pushed open, the sunlight slanted its way inside, reflected the square plastic floors, bringing out the dim light from the dust, there were, five, to six tables, with a karaoke machine and a mic, nobody was singing, the karaoke machine had this lazy kind of tune playing, and the oldies that played on gave off this intimate, yet, distant kind of feel to the shop. Gui led Juan in by her hand, a couple sitting there in the corner stood up, the woman with the thick mascara on was Mei-Feng, the heavyset man with smiles is Rong, a widower in his sixties, this, was the day of matchmaking for Rong and Juan, and, Mei-Feng and Gui were the matchmakers.
Although the times had advanced, now, so long as people are in love, then, they can be together, but, this, is only toward the younger generations, for the divorcees, or those who’d lost a husband or a wife, people in their midlife or old age, people lacked this sense of openness about them, believed, that only through the introductions of a middleman, the process is deemed complete, and they’d not needed to worry about the gossips, spreading on the streets, and because that, was how the world works, Gui’s job was well-respected, there were, more than fifteen to sixteen pairs that Gui had set up, and, although they’d not registered at the land offices as being married, but, they’d filled in the “spouse” column on the back of their identification cards as well as on the household registries themselves.
Working as matchmaker for a longtime, she’d felt a ton of emotions too, she was once among those who’d chuckled at the idea of matchmaking, but as she’d turned elderly, she’d become, a matchmaker herself, she’d felt funny as she thought on it, and, the marriages that gone according to plans, is no less than getting the two people together, starting them off with a cup of coffee with each other, adding two, three words of sweet talks, and normally, the love is settled then, and, they’d had lived on, happily, isn’t that kind of odd too? The two unrelated people, matched together, for the sake of, happily ever after to eternity, although both the man and the woman had their equal shares of the trials in their lives, the first time they’d met, they’d both become, a bit awkward with one another. They’d started talking on unimportant things now, and when they ran out of things to talk about, they’d, stirred that cup of black, bitter coffee, with their colorful straws, and, started, slurping it up, and Gui started getting lost in thought, in the opaque, black whirlpool, her own life that’s turned upside down by fate seemed to, reappear again.
Being the only child, she was cherished by her family, although she wasn’t born in a wealthy family, but her family was still, quite well off, the hardware store her family owned, there were, six, to seven deliverymen, the couple of tough, strong men would, carry the steel materials, the lead pipes, and headed in and out of the shop daily, their black shoeprints left thick imprints of dirt on the floor, like the accidental smears of the floor. The dampened spring, and started this fume of a combination of things, the various metals, the lubricants, the sweats, all mixed together, and, scattered all over the floors were, the thick, and heavy steel pipes, the various sizes, the connectors, the small motors, the glass cabinets had the screwdrivers, the clamps, the drills, and the expensive nuts and bolts, and early in the morn, things started ringing inside the shop, it’s, the sound of these steel things, hitting the floor of the shop, and, all of these noises, to her father, sounded like the coins inside the pockets, but for the eighteen-year-old adolescent girl who’d sat for endless hours in front of the phones, it’s just, boring, plain, and dead. This, is a masculine kind of workplace, the men are down-to-earth, hard working, kept to themselves; the women too should be, plain, carried themselves as ladies, and quiet, it’d opposed the jumpy, the active, the upbeat heart of youth, and, she’d once worried, that her own youth would, age one day in the sound of things dropping to the floor, the sweats, as well as the hollers in the shops, until one day, she’d felt a pair of eyes, looking at her from behind, she’d turned her head around instantly, and saw a store clerk looking away in a jiffy, and, ever since, she’d started, keeping note of this store clerk, it was, a tall and big kind of guy, he’d shown his canine teeth as he’d opened up his mouth, with the flair of Yujiro Ishihara. After she’d prodded around in private, it was, an ordinary worker, nobody has any special impressions of him, just someone who can strike up a conversation easily, active, someone who’s a bit frivolous. And ever since, they’d become like animals in the jungle, glancing over at one another when each other is least aware. One day, she couldn’t help and asked him, “Why are you staring at me?”, her words came at him like a spear, he’d not known how to dodge it, his face turned red all of a sudden, and, without a word, he’d run away from her.
Two days ago, she’d found a letter in her desk drawer, her heart pitter-pattered, as she’d opened it, it was, a silver brooch, with a messy handwritten letter, she’d quickly, placed it into the envelope, and shoved it into her purse, and waited until late at night, she’d taken this very first gift from a member of the opposite sex, and looked at it, closely, there were, flowers in bloom on the brooch, had that soft light, from the lamplight, and, behind it, was the thin and sharp needle, she’d, carefully pinned it onto her chest, as if, her heart was, also, penetrated by that silver needle too, opened up that letter with bad penmanship, she’d felt sorta disappointed, the true heart was, expressed with rough, coarse words, like how a shirt made from silk was patched down by the roughness of the needle works, how, can she expect, that a tough guy who’d worked with his brawns all day long, to express his feelings about her in such delicate way?
And ever since, they’d had each other in their hearts, and, although their romance wasn’t looked upon well, but, once the flames of love in youth got ignited, it can’t be put out, and, the wedding was held, in the unwillingness of the parents. Even so, other than not taking the dowry payments from the man’s family, the cakes, the banquets, as well as the banquets to have the bride back home to visit her family, was all there, and, she’d finally, gotten out, from this, boring metal world of a life she once lived in. It’s quite odd too, he’d wanted out of the business as well, although he’s got a strong body, he’d not like rustling with these heavy, sturdy things at all, he’d felt, that men should be out and around, making a lot of money, doing something grander, making his families proud. So, he’d left the hardware store, and started working in the beverage wholesales, for two, to three years on end, he was, the model husband, worked hard, saved up all he’d earned, worked nights and days, in the sweetness of the atmosphere, they’d had two children together, became the couple that everybody looked upon with envy. It’s just, that he’d not had the patience, to watch his areas of work bear the fruits, he’d always imagined, that the new job he’d wanted would, make him more money, and, this characteristic about his personality had made him into a mixer, constantly spinning, turning, churning endlessly, from the wholesales of drinks, he’d gone into making the tires, then, feeds, then, sold the whole grains, and would go into business with someone, or, work by himself, or, did part-time jobs to gain the experiences, the more experienced he’d become, however, the less money he’d made. And, Gui started missing her life at the plain, boring hardware store, that same order slips, the sound of the steel items falling to the floors, the smell of the sweats from the workers, but, the hands of time can’t be turned back, and, fate had, played a joke on her, she’d just wanted, to ride on that carousel around, and watch and participate in the colorful world, but, instead, she’d gone on that rollercoaster, and lived her days in agitation and fear. The assortment of business ventures had, spent up all their money, had beaten her man down, and, the man she’d married didn’t have any strength left, to try anything else new, and so, he’d started, working in laboring, first, he’d driven a truck, but, said that the roads were too long and lonely, he’d gone out to sea and worked on a ship, after losing contact for three months, Gui received a postcard from abroad, the handwriting was, familiar, but, the scene was, strange: a large ship, docked at the harbor, with the sea and the blue skies in the distance, with a few floating white clouds, closer, there were, rows of cement railings, since, postcards like this one flew from places like Manila, Cape Town, Jakarta, or, strange places like Valencia, Laem Chabang, and other places too.
Behind the drifing man, there’s always a woman who’d left in panic and alone. The young married woman worried every day about life, and, followed her husband’s footsteps all over the places, from the center of the city, to the side of the river, to the village by the streams, to a small town by that river, until they’d moved to the northern railway’s town, they’d finally, settled down. For a time, the man lost contact completely, and, she could only, move back in with her mother, and, her kind, gentle father had, long gone, and, her own stubbornness had, left, many scars in the past, and her mother’s words felt like knives, stabbing at her heart, but, can she holler out in pain? Who can she blame, for being punished by love? No matter what, this man, in her boring youth days, had given her joys and love too.
Recalling the past, she’d not known how she’d gotten to where she is, how she managed, to raise up her own two sons, just remembered how she used to head into the cloth making factories in the daytime, and in the evenings, worked as a dishwasher in the restaurants, and at night when she’d gone home, she’d still needed to do some needle work for her clients, and, the family would often just have a few plain buns, or some noodles, as meals, after the kids had had their mandatory years of education, they’d all started, working in the factories too, dropping out of school. She’d carried that weakened state of being as an only child when she was younger, this gave her stomach troubles a lot, the doctor told her, that her stomach conditions were, caused by her depressed moods, that she’d needed to, look on the brighter side of things, and, waited until she’d had, whites covering up her hair, her health started, getting better. Thinking back, it seemed, that it was, after she’d gotten a call from her husband’s shipping company, that told her he’d jumped the ship, and was never found again, it was, a harbor, close to the equator where it’d happened. As the ship left, her man didn’t get onboard, some said, that he was, enticed away by local ladies, some said, that he’d contracted something unmentionable, and died, in a very awful hospital, some said, that he’d gotten hacked to death by the debt collectors, it was, a time when the temperatures rose up to 104°F, with the plague happening on and off, with the fights breaking out in the villages, the meat vendors sold the pork, strung onto a stick during the days, the place where the flies roamed and took over, was also, where her man was, last sighted. The shipping company consoled her to look for him abroad, but, she’d not had what it took, to get the money for the trip, plus, after so many years, his existence became, but a symbol to her now, even if she’d gotten him back home, could he actually, stay put at home? It’d be better, that she’d, kept all of this hidden inside of her mind. That way, at least, she’d feel, more settled, and, she’d stayed put, by the railway lines, and when the factory told her she was too old to work, she’d worked odds and ends, and helped sorted the recycled materials for the recycle shops on her own, or, as the early morning markets puts up the businesses, she’d helped the vendors pick up, and gotten some food in return, and, she’d made it, to the age where she’d become, eligible for the retirement pensions by the government, with a small amount provided to her, she’d felt, a bit more, secured. One day, at around two in the afternoon, she’d arrived home from working the odds and ends at the marketplaces, he saw a man in black trousers from a distance, hung his head down low, squatted down, lonely, by her doorway, she thought that it was someone who was also, picking up the recycle materials, just resting, as she walked closer, he’d lifted her head, and stared at her, with his darkened face, seemingly wanting to smile, showing that familiar canine tooth she’d remembered so well, he’d said timidly, “Gui………”, then just, stared at her dumbfounded, couldn’t say another word.
She was stunned for a bit, and started shaking all over, with her heart, pitter-pattering, she felt her limbs going cold all of a sudden, she’d become limp, she kept holding her hand over her heart, for a while, she’d looked at him coldly, “So, you’re not dead yet?”, the man didn’t say another word, helped himself, using the wooden board on the door to steady himself, and, followed her in the house in silence.
The months that followed, she’d treated him like a piece of lost furniture she’d discovered again, a couch, or a stool perhaps, it was gone, then, all of a sudden, found again, just let it, sit right where it is then, no need to bother with it, just, keep in at the corner of the house then. It’s been so many years that’s come and gone, and, she’d gotten used to, living on her own, she’d become, self-reliant already, and now, she’d gotten that government paid retirement pension too, she’d not have any fears for her own life anymore, she’d taken a note of how the doctors told her to relax, to not get bogged down by troubling things, she’d gone up the mountains to cut down the bamboo shoots in the summers, slice up the gingers at the factories, in the autumn, she’d gone into the fields, to help with the harvest of the cabbages, then, get some work from the cloth factories, and from time to time, she’d recycled too, and, when it was the season for election, she’d gone up on the cars, and urged the voters to vote with that voice of her, her multi-variate experiences had made her even more convincing, and became the mouth of her small town. When she’d gotten the spare times, she’d drunk, and gambled like the men too, at the grocery shop of her small village, sitting by the dried tofu, peanuts too, and drank with the leisure fellows from noon until sundown. Her husband had become a total stranger to her, before she’d left the house, she’d thrown him a couple of coins, and after she arrived home, they’d lived together separately, and the husband who would get loud and rough with her now became, a castrated dog, unenergetic, and because his leg problems, he’d rarely left the house. And, he’d helped, sweep the floors, pick up the things around the house too. And from time to time, when she’d gone out and forgotten to turn off the stoves, he’d cleaned up after her too. She’d slowly gotten, that it’s nice, having company next to her too, and started interacting with her husband, and, from time to time, the friends and relatives showed some interests in how they’d related to one another, she’d hollered so loud back to them: don’t you know, that women have the least amount of ambitions? And, her tone of voice had, caused the person she was speaking to, to shut up, and, from time to time, as her older brothers and younger brothers came to visit, with their name-brand cars, speeding by, the neighbors would start talking, and, Gui would gloat too, she’d, sent off her visitors, and, with her back turned, toward the field, she’d, walked, slowly, through the fields, back home, and, the setting sun illuminated her swaying backside in the fields.
And so, this, would be how the woman’s life looked, she’d gotten HER share of misfortunes, she felt attracted to this man who’s different than the rest, and, that was, where it’d first, started going wrong for her, and, it is fate, that she was, destined to, have such a hard time when she was younger, and, after she’d gone through the trials of her own life, she’d finally, gotten the sense, that she can still live very well, and that, was when she started, living HER life for herself…and that, was, how she chose to live her life, and it’s still her attitude, that’s helped her through all of her hard times…