In love, with a homosexual man, a Q&A, translated…
Q: the man I loved deeply is homosexual, what do I do?
Ms. C who’s married for three and a half years, wrote to talk about her marriage, she and her husband were married after dating for one and a half year, and because they were a long-distant relationship, they’d relied on the instant messaging to communicate. The two of them had gone on trips together, to spend the night away from home, but other than holding hand, they’d not had any more intimate interactions together; until as they were discussing marriage, her husband had kissed her once. Although C thought it to be weird, but believed, that it was because her husband was shy, she didn’t worry that much over it.
A little over a week after they were wed, they’d still kept it like they were, before they wed, one day, she’d cried and asked her husband, why he wouldn’t just, hold her? And, that, was when her husband forced himself to have sex with her. At the time she got married, she’s already in the zone for being at-risk for pregnancy, and the in-laws had, nagged her about having a grandchild soon too, so C became under great pressures, and gone to see the eastern and western treatments for infertility actively, and hoped that her husband could work with her on it too, but her husband was rejecting to it.
Six months after they were wed, C accidentally found three volumes of books about homosexuals that were hidden very well in her husband’s drawers, as well as a huge bag of letters from his gay pen pals, and that, was when she’d realized, that he was, homosexual.
After they’d agreed on divorce, her husband made up his mind on getting her back, and they’d started their long-distance relationship once more, and on the weekends, she’d gone to see him too, at first, her husband treated her nicely, and worked with the doctor on her ovulating schedules; and to have in vitro fertilization, they’d registered for marriage too.
It was hard, for C to get her ovulation shots, and being under anesthesia and extracting her eggs, and the shots had not only made her body out of shape, the pressures from the pregnancy had also caused her to become severely depressed. And, no matter how much she loved him, she’d only become an incubator to carry his young in; and no matter how much love was there from the start, it’d eventually, gotten spent, by the aloofness too. C wanted to know what she should do.
A My Advice
This marriage started out wrong, and perhaps, both parties miscalculated the level of difficulties of this and were both, willing to comply, plus there was that small attraction that was there, it’d gone down the wrong directions from the very start. The key point of this marriage is in making the in-laws happy, but, the two individuals are in pains and couldn’t manage to break free. C should think about what her friend told her, “You seemed happier before you married.”, and the man’s motives were even clearer, but, what’s C’s motive in keeping this marriage intact? Why is she, willing to pay this high a price, for this marriage?
So, the man is homosexual, but his parents pressed him to get married, so they could have a grandchild to carry on their last names, and, this made it hard on the woman, because although her husband was gentle and kind to her, and treated her well, but there’s still something missing, that intimacy that should be between a married couple, and, they’d divorced, but the husband worked hard at, pursuing this woman, and, she’d gone soft, even as she knew that the love they’d had was not right from the start, and, they’d registered for marriage, as they were undergoing fertility treatment, and all of this had made her, into nothing MORE than an INCUBATOR, and this still also just showed how SELFISH the man’s family is, how they’re willing to, not recognize their son’s homosexuality, and still FORCED him to have a child so they could pass down the family’s last name, and this woman became nothing MORE than a baby machine…
Life, the Obstacle Course 