Translated…
I’d gone on the weekend, with a friend, to the nursing home up the mountains, to visit her mother. Since her father died, her eighty-three-year-old mother had, stubbornly, kept the home they’d lived together in, didn’t care at all about her meals, and sometimes, she’d cook up a pot of rice gruels and serve it with pickled items, my friend felt awful about it, and so, she’d rushed to the markets to shop every lunch, rushed to her mothers, whipped up a simple lunch for her, then, left in a hurry, back to work again. In the summers, she’d had to, run around, and would, slip and get hurt, her mother would often nagged her for not needing to do such things, but she couldn’t find an alternative, and so, she could only, keep up doing what she’d done.
not my photo here…
Later on, in order to set her daughter’s mind at ease, her mother insisted on living in assisted living. A friend suggested to her, that she could, file for early retirement, and move back home with her mother, but, the mother got angry, after hearing the suggestions, and told her that if she quitted her job, it had better, be, for a better reason, and there was nothing that my friend could do, so, she’d found, a nursing home with a good reputation; she’d originally hoped, that her mother could, have a change of heart some day, but, every time she’d gone to visit with her mother, she’d found, that her mother was, adapting very well, and she’d become, happier than before too.
We’d not entered into the social rooms, and already heard the laughter, a group of elderly were, sitting together, chit-chatting on the goings on of life, and an elderly man in a wheelchair saw my friend entered, he’d immediately pulled a $500N.T. bill from his pockets, said to her, “Young lady, here for you, to buy some foods for yourself!”, my friend who’s already in midlife, was so very glad, said a loud “thank you”, then, turned around, passed the bills to the caretakers, and, they will, quietly, place it back, into the elderly man’s dresser drawers. My friend whispered, that every time the elderly man’s grandkids would give him a ton of red envelopes, but, he was, immobilized, and have no way and no place to spend the cash, and so, he’d loved playing this game of giving his money away, and, he’d become, the happiest, when he’d taken out the money to give away, and those who knew this would always, played along.
not my picture…
My friend also told me, that that elderly woman who’d played mahjong with her mother was so blue as she’d arrived, and would tell anybody and everybody she bumps into of her troubles, that she’s so afraid, that she’s going to die soon. The nurse’s aide worked hard, to settle her down, but it never worked, then, once, came a very wise volunteer, she’d written the character for “death” on a piece of paper, told the elderly woman of the origins, “take the word about, it’s a dagger, on top of something awful, which means, that you should, get rid of everything that’s bad, there’s nothing wrong with that, no need to fear it.” After the elderly heard, she’d gotten it, and let go of the grips that death had on her, and became her mother’s constant companion player in Mahjong, and sang at the karaoke room often too.
My friend originally felt awful about placing her mother in a nursing home, and worried, that the friends, relatives and families would blame her for not fulfilling her filial piety duties, and so, she was, unsettled. “If the nursing homes provided the quality of care to aging elderly, why not? So long as the elders are, willing to stay, and feel happy every single day.” I’d tried to console my friend, to stop thinking, that she’d needed to, get her mother to move in with her, that she could come to the nursing home from time to time to visit, to play games, to hear the elders have their karaoke sing-offs.
And so, due to the stresses of the filial piety belief: that putting one’s parents inside a nursing home is NOT being kind toward them, that, is why this woman stressed on sending her own mother into the nursing home, but, in the nursing homes, the mother was getting the proper and needed care, and she’s become, even MORE active, when she’d lived at home, alone on her own, so, why not?
not my photograph still…
Life, the Obstacle Course 