Just slice & dice, yeah, use ALL those GOD DAMN pills, to FINISH yourself off! You’d heard that voice, from inside of you, and, you’re, in so much pain, you’d wanted it all, to end, so, you’d started, chopping yourselves up!
not my photograph…
Suicide is a serious subject, and, it’s NOT my place to judge if it’s cowardly or whatever, as I’d attempted it so many times in my teenage years, and yeah, there was, a period of time in my life, when I wished I could just D-I-E, but, I’d not have enough balls to carry through (thank heavens for that!).
This deep-rooted pain, where suicide stemmed from was unknown for me back then, I just felt, that I should not be on this earth, that I needed an end to things, and yeah, it was, horrible for me, to go through ALL of it all alone by myself, as, NOBODY had, understood, what I was going through, not even me, I was only, experiencing, the insurmountable pain.
But, I didn’t do it, because, for starters, I’d not wanted to cause a HUGE mess (that I wouldn’t have to clean up???) in my bedroom, and there was just something inside of me, that kept me, holding on, and I didn’t understand it back then, what it was. But I’d, struggled, a lot, with myself, contemplating why it was, that I was, put on this planet, and now, twenty plus years later, I’d finally, gotten out of the woods, and, it took me, a VERY long time, to figure everything out (that was, twenty-six years total, and I’m still just, heading toward 34 right now!), and I had.
not my photo still…
Looking back, I realized, that suicide was only my expressions of pain, of the experiences that were once, unknown to me, acting up, but after I’d done that walk through (the way you would properties you’re buying or selling???) of my own life, I’d figured it out, and, it’d taken me, twenty-seven years to do it, but I still did it!
Life, the Obstacle Course 