Translated…
Some twenty odd years ago, I’d given up on my teaching post, married afar. As I set foot onto Taiwan, I’d realized, that my ideals were all, crushed by reality, and before me, there’s this hard road that was, unfolding before my eyes, in the siege called “marriage”, I’d raised my young, take care of the household finances, worked hard, for the sake of money. Away from the books, away from my students, even farther away, from my own dreams, a lot of people all felt awful for me, but, I’d become, stuck, in this swamp called reality, and can’t find my way out.
not my photo…
Back then, my father-in-law volunteered at a private temple, and the master there is said to be clairvoyant, and so, every time there are difficulties in our lives, the master was, consulted. One day, I’d taken my daughter to visit, as I was about to return home, the master who was originally, with his eyes shut, reciting the Buddhist verses, all of a sudden, he’d opened up his eyes, said to me, “the messages from up above, they’re telling you, to NOT give up on the books,” then, he’d turned around, left.
I was so stunned at the moment, I felt this shock from the inside, that, was what I’d tried so hard, to avoid, something I deflect looking at! Is that, really God’s will? I was, drawn, into a state of dreams, fell, into a daze.
“Don’t give up on the books, don’t give up on the books.”, and that voice had, become, tied, around my heart, struck those chords every now and then. And still, the reality is, after all, too cruel, back then, I did not have friends, no books, don’t know how to use a computer, isolated, from the rest of the world, there’s only work and family in my life. I’d bent my back, doing manual labor, I’d carried my daughter in one arm, and with the other, on the pots and pans, I looked at my child’s face fast asleep in the depth of the nights………inhaled, then, exhaled, deeply, I’d recalled what the master said to me. And so, I’d, started, struggling, in the crevasse of life, started, searching for my innermost desires. And, just like so, whenever I’d had the spare time, I’d taken my daughter to the libraries, and swam about in the sea of knowledge, and grew.
not my photo…
In mid-2011, I’d started, sending my writings in, as the first article was published in the papers, I was, overwhelmed with joy, that day, I bought three copies of the papers! And since, writing had, opened up a window for me, gave me a ton of energies. And now, even though, life is still not at all easy, but, reading and writing in the spare times made me very happy. Just like my friend told me, writing, is a sort of a compensation that the gods gave to me, and, writing had helped me find my own self-worth and strength too.
In 2015, I was lucky enough, to have my submitted essay selected for an award, the moment I went up to receive the awards, I think, it’s probably, the most radiant, amazing moment of my entire life. And, the words from the master back then, “Don’t give up on the books”, these words had, stayed with me for twenty years, at the moment of my glory, resurfaced, back into my mind. Turns out, so long as we’re willing to, work hard, to give all we can, we all have our own, special moments in life.
And so, this, is how a woman finally realized her potential, she was, lost, because she was, trapped between the roles she was taking, a wife, a mother, a worker, and, she was too stressed out by money, and, her reality killed her dreams, and, she was, lost for a bit, then, she’d found her dreams again, in writing, and, because of writing, she was able to mature, grow, become who she is right now.
Life, the Obstacle Course 