The Help Came, with the Change of Just One Thought

Translated…

“Mom, you need to wash the detergent off the dishes, rinse them once more again!”, my mother who had bad vision would always wondered, “It’s already, very clean, what else need to be washed off?”  my eighty-three elderly mother couldn’t see the stains on the dishes, and so, after awhile, as my two daughters visited home with me, they’d ranted, “the dishes at grandma’s house are all sticky, not cleaned enough!”, my children were, telling the truth it’s just, that they’d not understand the whole situation, even, they’d misinterpreted their grandma as being lazy.

not my photo…

I knew that there’s no way I can help my mother improve and so, I’d invited my children, to bring out all the dishes to be cleaned again, my third-grade daughter, Kiki once asked, “How come grandma doesn’t wash the dishes clean?”, I’d told her, “It’s not that she didn’t, it’s because she thought she’d cleaned them up already.”  “Why?”, “Grandma’s old, she couldn’t see well, she couldn’t see that there are, stains left on the plates!”, I’d stressed to my children, “Grandma is eighty-three years-old, she can still cook and clean up on her own, she’s already, very amazing, if mommy and daddy can be like grandma when we’re old, it would be wonderful.”  Kiki started giggling, I’d continued, “If daddy is old and can’t see in the future, Kiki must help me out!”, Kiki stated, “Surely I will, I will help you, wash all the dishes so they’re all, clean!”

After they’d learned why Grandma’s bowls and chopsticks are sticky, they’d not gotten disgusted, and would even, help sweep up the floors, as well as do the dishes, without being asked.  And, as we’d visited home, my daughter and I would often, clean up the house together, it’s just, that my mom became confused, why must we, spent so much energy on helping her clean up the house.

not my photo still…

My parents are elderly, but, they’d not wanted me to hire them a household helper, they say, “If we can do it, we will do it by ourselves, and one day if we can’t anymore, then, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”  I’d respected their wishes, because being able to still move about is a blessing to them, a sort of self-affirmation, and I can’t, strip that from them, and, am glad, that my parents are still, able-bodied.

Now, other than just accompanying grandma and grandpa when we go home, we’d also have the cleaning up jobs to do.  The attitudes were changed, and, the sticky bowls, chopsticks get cleaned off easily, rather than complaining, we’d all, rolled up our sleeves, making it more pleasant for us to use, and helped grandma and grandpa, who strived for independence very hard, to have clean dinnerware to use too.

And so, this father became a role model, and taught his daughter about empathy, from the experiences of helping his parents do the dishes, and, that, would be what a well-working family looks like, everybody has some empathies toward each other, which allows more room for better understanding and getting along well with each other too.