On the inputting into the kids’ marriage, translated…
Last Sunday, our neighbors, the Chens married their daughter, a few days earlier, the couple already came to ask, hoped, that on the day of their child’s wedding, I could go to help out.
They’d felt, that on the day of their child’s marriage, all the relatives would come to Taipei for the banquet, feared, that if by then, the in-laws became unsatisfied with the traditions, with me, and outsider, as the mediator, it would, be better.
Mr. Chen’s family speaks Taiwanese, Mrs. Chen’s family speaks Hakka, from the beginning of times, these two subcultures have varied beliefs, and, in the process of the wedding, there were, naturally, a ton, of various opinions on how things should be done. The moment the bride is to leave the house was at eleven in the morning to noontime, the limo arrived by 11:10, the female’s side of the family needed to carry a tray to usher in the groom. But, what gifts should be in the tray? One side insisted on oranges, that it would bring good luck, and the other insisted on apples, as safe voyage. I’d took up two round egg yolk pastry, and, helped them, completed that ritual.
As the groom entered, they’d needed to treat the man’s side of the family to some sweets, one side said that the rice gruel balls meant harmony, the other said that longan soup, for having offspring, this gave troubles to the cook, the black tea I brought with me from home, did the trick perfectly.
As the bride was leaving her home, one side said that they’d needed to, kneel, to bid farewell to the parents, the other side said that the groom shall not kneel, because he wasn’t marrying into the woman’s family. And because the place was really cramped up, with the guest, overflowing, I’d suggested, that they’d bow down to the parents, thank the parents to her upbringing; after that, the newlywed couple had, hugged the parents, and it was, moving to everybody who was there.
As the bride stepped out of her house, one side believed, that she’d needed to, look back, so the kids she will have in the future will be kind to her in-laws; the other side believed, that the bride should not look back, that after she marries, she couldn’t and shouldn’t have people on her side of the family on her mind constantly. I’d told the bride, to smile her brightest smile, to be the most beautiful bride she can be.
In the past, I’d often heard my friends tell me, that a lot of the younger couples were in love for a very long time, but, everything goes south as marriage is being discussed, because the families on both sides won’t back down on their separate set of values, making each other upset. In the past, I’d thought, that that couldn’t be the majority of the cases, but, as I’d gotten, to the ground level of that wedding, I’d bore witness to, how much difficulties the families, and the relatives, are giving, to the newlywed.
Actually, getting marriage is a good thing, so, why don’t we all, just stop giving all our inputs, and just, give the newlywed a little more blessings on their marriage, so they can have, a beautiful, happy, and an unforgettable wedding.
Yeah, easy for you to say! Because marriage is still NOT a matter of just the two individuals, it’s the matter of TWO families, and, if it were, just the two of you, then, it would be, easier, because you two can duke it out, but, when the rest of the families are involved, well, it usually, just, don’t end well at all!