The Three-Way After Midlife, in the End, It’s Not Just Damaging OThers But Also Oneself as Well

Q: Meeting Up with Her First Love, Rekindling the Flames, But He’d Wanted to Have it Both Ways

Mrs. LW is fifty-three years old now, two decades ago, her family and her moved to the States, her husband is achieved, with no bad habits, but, has emotional problems and would become abusive to her.

Two years ago, she’d bumped into her first love from her middle school years online, the man is working in the military, with a great prospect, a good marriage too.  The two of them started remembering the times they’d shared, and the flames were rekindled, Mrs. LW divorced her husband abruptly, and, moved back to Taiwan on her own.

The man took her home to meet his own wife, as well as the rest of the family, his wife knew about the love of LW and her husband from when he was younger all along; and, her marriage back then, was from her own hands, unlike how LW and her husband were, forced to part ways.  When she’d understood how the love LW and her husband shared didn’t get washed away by the time, and that the flames started burning brightly again after they met back up, her heart was broken.  LW and the man decided to tell his wife about them, and begged for forgiveness, and LW even told her that she’s not going to, steal her husband.

LW is a professional investor, with a steady source of income.  Living in different city as the man, they’d met up, every once in a while; she’d longed for the man to be with her after he retires, but, whenever she thought about those sorrowful looks from his wife, she’d wanted to end this affair.  And the man had, wanted his own wife to accept LW, the three of them, living together, looking out for each other, but his wife was insistent on not agreeing to it.

LW wanted to know, how can she continue on with him?

A My Advice

There are, two paths paved before LW: leave the man, or be his spare.  No, actually, there’s, just ONE choice: LEAVE!  The man’s marriage before she entered into the equation was perfect; but after he’d rekindled the flames with LW, he’d not wanted to let either side go, wanted to have it both ways.  It may be, that LW wanted to, fulfill her past love, that she’d, intruded into the man’s marriage.  But, the man is still married to his wife, and, the man can only ask LW to become his spare, and, this would be what LW actively ignored, or pretended not to know.

If she keeps sticking to her guns, would this love turn around completely?  My guess would be no, the man has his future, and wife, to consider, this, is the attitude he’d carried from the very start of this, it’s also, the final resolution, LW should really see this!

And so, this woman is trapped, because she’d now, met back up with her old flame, and, the fires got rekindled, and the man has a wife too, and naturally, this man still isn’t going to leave his wife, and so, this woman can only become his spare, and, we all know, how being someone’s spare turns out already, but, this woman is still too caught up in the emotions to see it.