The Memories of You Became, Especially Hard for Me to Bear ‘Round the Holidays…

And yeah, feeling THAT right now too, ‘k???

The memories of you became, especially hard for me to bear ‘round the holidays, especially when I think about how old you SHOULD be right now, that’s still, SIX candles on the cake this year, it’ll be SEVEN next, and then, I look around myself: where, oh where, IS that six-year-old DAUGHTER of mine, the one with the cute head of curls (resembling Little Orphan Annie, Shirley Temple kind of kid?), oh wait, REALITY CHECK: you, are already DEAD, my love, and, there’s nothing I can do ‘bout that!  I mean, sure, I can GET knocked up, but, W-H-Y?  Oh yeah, so I can watch you, get RAPED, over, over, and over again, by all them M***ER F***ER (maxed out, remember???) in OUR lives?  No thank you!

not my photograph…

The memories of you became especially hard for me to bear, especially ‘round the holidays, but, what can I do?  Save ALL my tears to, when I’m all alone, and start, waiting super, DUPER loud (not like that high-pitched screamed that came out from my lungs back in ’08 though…).  The memories of you became especially hard for me to bear, and there’s nothing I can do, because, you, are already DEAD, my love, and, NOTHING can MAKE me have you again, and besides, you were, my one, AND only daughter, and, I’m already done grieving (I think………) for the loss of your (don’t know if I should call it, because you were never, actually, really, conceived yet) life………

The memories of you became especially hard for me to bear ‘round the holidays, but, I still must, put one foot, in front of the other, and, keep moving on, and, usually (oh wait, it’s, DEFINITELY!) after I’d cried again, I’ll be able to, pick myself back up, and keep, going in life again, so, I’m still okay!

 not my photograph still…