From the Front Page Sections, translated…
“Inside of me, there’s a voice, telling me, to find a partner at old age, I don’t dare, mention it to my readers…there’s a statement, those who were seated don’t know how hard it is, for those standing up long term, when you are out, traveling on your own, with me at home, all alone, had you ever thought about how, dear old dad may be in need, of a companion too?”
I had the opportunity of being a judge of the “Life’s Love Letters” essay contest, and had the opportunity, to thumb across this submitted passage.
“An affinity comes but once in a lifetime, I need to find a companion who will accompany me to the end of my life………your strong feelings toward how much you all missed mom, using it, to prevent me, from finding another, the pains inside of me, I can’t tell it to anybody, and so, I’m writing all of you this letter, hoping, that you will, give me your blessings………”
In the frames of morality, it seems that it would take, insurmountable courage to, tell one’s own offspring, that one feels lonely from time to time, that one needs the comforting of another emotionally as well.
This essay was chosen as the winner of the contest by all the judges. And, of the top three winners, there is the central theme of growing old together, with children surrounding.
The words had, opened up that black box that’s been kept locked up for a very long time, and this, is the secret: we’d never been told of, the truth about old age! Is it truly, in every elderly’s dreams to have one’s own offspring nearby, to age at one’s own home? Our traditional values of respecting the elderly generations, most of the times, drove us all, away from our aging elderly parents and grandparents, we’d quarantined that thought of the truth about aging, out of our own minds.
Like this essay that’s written, in the form of a letter, it’d allowed the rest of the public to see, the real life of the narrator. To the age when you’re called, “Mr. Old Person”, or “Elderly person”, you’d still have some feelings inside of you, and you’re, seeking exactly that same sort of connections with someone else, as the younger generations, hoped that you’re, cherished by others, to be loved by others, and that flame that’s burning, it won’t get put out, not even, by the greatest amount of water.
And yet, our traditions had, hurriedly, “blocked” this sort of “anomaly”. The elderly, being placed in the family trees at the very top, seemingly mean, that they must show, that completeness of life, that satisfaction with one’s own life. He’s not supposed to worry, not supposed to doubt, nor is he supposed to express his need for romance and love either. The traditions lined, “blessings” up with “longevity”, and, as the elderly generations were assigned to the position of handing blessings to one’s own young, how, are they supposed to, disclose those truths about what they’re actually feeling, that’s considered, “improper”?
Actually, it’s a kind of a deprivation, a sort of discrimination, not only at home, but in this society too, usually, without the consents, the society had, stereotyped the aging population into this made up structural morality! This, is quite different from the western world, where the children can call their parents, grandparents, even, great grandparents, by their first names; the Asian societies are exactly the opposite, as we’d bumped into unknown elderly strangers, we’d called them, “Uncle”, or “Grandpa”, and, unknowingly, they are all, grouped, into the statuses of our loved ones.
Those unspoken things inside the minds of the elderly, showed how there’s a total misunderstanding of what’s in the minds of the elderly in the population. How much humanity is, kept, locked up in the black box, that’s working to come out? Is the society of Taiwan ready, to get to know the elderly generations better?
And still, the root of the problem lies in that even IF the elders are surrounded by loved ones, living at home, all the loneliness that they are feeling, feels more real, as the physical quarantine from the rest of the outside world.
And so, this kinda breaks up the “mirage” of how having your children surrounding you all the time would constitute as having a good old age, but, what about the loneliness that stems from the inside of these elderly? Do you not know, that if you don’t take care of that feeling of lonely that stems from inside of you, NO matter how you’re constantly surrounded with the raucous of the outside world, you’ll still be isolated?