and no, not my picture…
Old-school belief systems, can’t believe, that they still exist, in THIS MODERN-DAY W-O-R-L-D here!!! Translated…
My eldest sister-in-law and I were both pregnant around the same time, and our due dates were only a few days apart, as the family gathered, naturally, all the focus was on the two of us, only my mother-in-law, she’d fallen silent, I’d tried, to break the ice, “Mom, there is now, dual blessings in the household this time!”, but, out of my expectations, my mother-in-law who was ordinarily mild mannered replied coldly, “It’s not as if you’re pregnant with a son!”, and, the air froze, in the gathering right then and there.
My eldest sister-in-law was a bride from China, and because of the one-child policy they have over there, she didn’t mind what sex of her child is. As for me, I’d felt, a mixture of emotions, because my own mother is very traditional in value, cherished her sons, more than her daughters, and, it wasn’t until her fourth birth, did she finally, have a son, and I’m the least loved, third youngest daughter. Since I was growing up, she’d told me often, that had the doctors misread the sex, she would’ve NEVER had me. And I already had two daughters, and this one, is also a daughter too.
Even though, there’s the call of gender equality now, but, I’d truly felt, that maybe, I will have to wait, until this next generation grows up, then, the sexist beliefs will finally, get altered. As I was pregnant with my firstborn, everybody would smile and ask, “Is it a boy or a girl?”, then, they’d all expected that you tell them it’s a boy, then, congratulate you, but, when you’d told them that you’re pregnant with a girl, then, you see their faces, frozen stiff, and, those who are a bit more courteous would add, “That’s not bad either!”, but, there are, limited number of folks, who truly believed, that having a daughter is a blessing on its own!
Recalling how after my first child, a girl, was born, my friends and relatives started handing me methods of having a son; when I was just pregnant with my second child, my mother-in-law made me wear a “Male-Bound” ribbon, when my second daughter was born, not only were the elders disappointed, even my eldest daughter’s kindergarten teacher asked me, “Then, you must need to have another then.”
As I got pregnant with my third child, everybody stated, that this one, would be a son, and, my mother used a needle, placed it on my hands, and saw it kept turning, stated happily, that it won’t be wrong, and there were, even elders who’d told me, that they’d dreamed that this birth is destined to be a son; so, when the doctor confirmed, that this third birth is still a girl, all of our friends and relatives all hollered out, “How can this be?”, nobody offered me any congratulations at all!
When I’d inquired a number of my friends, why they’re so sexist? There are usually two reasons, one, for the sake of carrying on the family’s last name, or, that they’d felt, that their daughters are, like spilled water, married off, and, unrelated to the family anymore. Actually, there are, so many daughters who are outstanding, they’re even closer to the parents’ hearts than the sons would be. And because I was, a victim of this sexism, I’d especially reminded myself, to NOT have my three daughters affected, by these traditional value systems, I will keep telling them, that having the three of them, is the biggest blessings in my life!
And so, you DO see, how DEEPLY rooted this sexism is, and this IS the 21st CENTURY, hello, hello, hello??? But, there are still those ANCIENTS who held tightly, to the beliefs, that daughters are like water that’s spilled outward, but, when there are troubles in the family, who are the ones the elders call upon again? Oh yeah, WE daughters, and is that fair??? Of COURSE N-O-T!!!