Observations of the surrounding environment, translated…
When I was riding on the MRT trains, I’d discovered, that the girl sitting next to me started smiling, it wasn’t the kind that’s so loud, but the kind that was, suppressed, but still came out, the smile that came, from the depth of one’s own soul. At that moment, I’d gotten a reminder of my old self, that after I parted ways with my exes, I’d always, anxiously, pick up my cell, and continued speaking the words that ran on and on. Although, looking back now, I’d realized, how pointless the conversation I’d carried on was, something that’s intimate, to bring us closer, but, that was, enough, to spark that scent of happiness instantly.
Thinking more on the matter, don’t know when was the last time, that there was, that smile that refused to get suppressed. There is this, thin layer of film between being in public and being in-tune with one’s own emotions privately, and, it’s as if this sort of unclarity, had, helped made love known, wanting to be a kid with a secret, wanted to get discovered, but also, wanted to keep the secrets silent. And still, so much time had passed, the secrets, they’d gotten buried, alongside those rotten leaves in the forests, for too long, that not only I’d forgotten about them, but also, with the passing of time, the changes in me as well as the environments, they’d become, better, at hiding themselves.
All of a sudden, I felt, envious, of this girl, and I’d picked up my cell phone too, and tried finding someone with whom I can hold a conversation with. Looking around, everybody is busy with her/his things, I felt that I was intruding, if I’d sent them a “hello”, and so, I can only, send a smiley face, set the status to “open”, to show how I was feeling at that moment in time.
And so, this, is what the writer felt, that she and her friends and contacts aren’t connected anymore, because we’re all busying in our separate lives, and, we failed to keep up with each other, and that, is where that longing of reconnecting with someone again stems from…
