and no, still NOT my photograph…
Yes, because they’re the ones, who needed us to, and, we have our things to do, and no, because we’d be, helping our kids out, and spending some of that “quality time” with our grandkids, it’s, so very, difficult, to decide here…translated…
From before, the daughters-in-law wouldn’t head back to the in-laws’ houses, on the one hand, they’re afraid of messing up the regular schedule of how their husbands’ families did things, secondly, they’re afraid, that they’d be said, to take money back to their own home fronts.
But, time has changed, the living conditions improved, everything became more convenient now, without the hard nostalgic sentiments of missing one’s home, but, “mom is the best in the world”, the daughters still loved “staying close” to the parents’ house, and we’d see this as, a sweet sort of burden.
Gladly, we had understanding in-laws, who’d allowed my daughter to come home for her month-long recovery after birth, so she could focus on getting her body back to shape, her health improve, and the in-laws had even, given us a HUGE red envelope, to cover the costs too, we’d taken the red envelope, but returned the money to them, being able to help with our daughter’s month-long recovery phase after birth, we’d feel blessed to do so, and are, willing to do it too.
After the month-long recovery phase, my daughter bugged us about helping her to take care of her baby, I’d weighed my own health and capabilities, told her that I was only willing, to do it for a year, as for do I charge her? And how much would I charge her? It’d made me think for a very long while.
My husband thought, we’re fine, economically speaking, and, it’s family, there’s NO need to charge her.
But, I disagreed, we don’t rely on our kids to take care of us in old age, but, at least, they needed to be self-sustaining, and also must shoulder up the responsibilities for taking care of their own young.
There is NO free lunch in the world, I’d taken note of how my friend did it, after her daughter married, she’d rented close by, so she could go home to eat, and would pay her $10,000N.T. to cover the groceries and the cooking.
My daughter and son-in-law would also come home for supper, to visit with their child, and on Saturdays, they’d pick up their young, and on Sundays, drop their child off; I’d taken care of the child 24/7, and provided the suppers, it would be, a DISCOUNT that I’d only asked them for $15,000N.T. a month!
Actually, the money I received from my daughter goes into buying my grandchild’s food items, clothes, daily needs, as well as toys, and, during the summers, we’d needed to have the air-conditioning on all day long, this added to the costs.
After my grandson turned one, my daughter fulfilled her end of the bargain, took him back to care on her own, and no longer gave me the money to help cover the costs, but I’m glad, that she’d still brought her son back to see us every single month, so we can spend some time together.
Now, keeping children would NOT be the sake of having someone to look after us when we’re elderly, but at least, to not suck us dry, and so, after my son turned thirty, I’d asked him to pay me $10,000N.T.s a month for living; the money we’d received from him, we’d put it aside into savings for him, so he could have some money, to start off in business or marriage later on.
The money that our kids give to us, of course, we should, take it, gladly!
And so, this, is how one parent did it, she’d taken the money from her daughter, to care for her grandson, I mean, don’t you need to pay your babysitters for looking after your young? So, why should parents be any different? You’re asking them to look after your young while you worked, and so, naturally, you should, pay your parents, and this mother’s view and ways of doing things is beneficial to her own children, because the money that they’re paying to her now, is still put to use for their sakes.
