On gay and lesbian rights and same-sex marriages, translated…
Our relationship, was way more fragile than I’d ever imagined…
Being in Love, But Not Being Able to be Legally Married
I’d been strained these couple of days, my body’s feeling the tensions, but, my alarm went off, early in the morning. I’d turned around in bed, couldn’t manage to open up my eyes. From getting the diagnosis to date, it’s only been a little over a week’s time, but, I feel, that it’s already been, ages, like I’d gone through many death-defying instances already.
I’m so tired, can I, skip reality and stay in bed today? I’d needed to send in my manuscripts, pass out the photoshoot flyers, schedule next week’s interview. I’d needed to get an early start today.
I’d managed to get myself up using my elbows, sat on my bed for a long while, decided to make myself a serving of fried eggs with green onion, a small bagel, with a serving of strawberry yogurt, then, brew up a good cup of joe for myself. I’d needed a, comfortable, leisurely breakfast, so I can have a breather. Because I’m the only one who can take care of Shu, the dog, I’m so tired, handling it all, I’d needed to squat down for a bit, so I can find the energy, to stand up straight again, and become their solid mountain.
I’d gotten a late start for the day, so, I’d flagged down a cab, to take me to work, I’d started calling up a friend who’s an attorney on my way to work, told her how Shu was found to have cancer, how she’s doing right now, and our thoughts about the matter, I’d asked the attorney, “Do I have the right to decide on her medical treatment options? Do we need to split our assets up right now?”
What I’d wanted to know more was: we’d been together like a couple for thirteen years already, can I be like the heterosexual husband and wife, make the decisions for my spouse? What rights, are guaranteed to us, or rather, how much difficulties will the law make for us both?
The attorney stated plainly, “Legally, you two are strangers.” For right now, the laws in Taiwan doesn’t protect the rights of the partners of same-sex marriages, and it wouldn’t matter if we’re together for thirteen years now, I still won’t have the right to make decisions medically, nor can I be the one, in charge of our shared assets.
Our relationship was, more fragile, harder to deal with than I’d ever imagined.
Actually, this, was not the very first time I’d bumped into this sort of “illegal difficulties”. Two, three years ago, we’d had a hard time, taking out an insurance policy.
Back then, a few of the elders of ours died suddenly of heart attacks, and, there was a friend who was in the best year of her life, went to see a movie, and had a myocardio infarction, before the movie was finished playing, he was, already dead. I’m truly very stressed right now, what if, Shu just, fell all of a sudden, because of her schedules, what’s going to happen to me then? And, what would happen to Shu, if I, with a heart condition, and asthma died?
Having four Scorpios in my charts, I’d often felt the darkened powers of death, I would play out the scenes inside my mind. Maybe, I’d died, and Shu, being too overcome with grief, couldn’t move on with her life; or, that Shu had died, and I’d become too panicky, that all I could do was cry. And, sometimes, as I’d contemplated on these matters, I’d started, crying.
The Inequality that’s Everywhere, Difficulties, Facing Us at Every Corner
Death is coming, at any second, I must be prepared for it. So I’d decided, that we both must get insurances, and set one another as the beneficiary. We must leave a sum of money for one another, if one of us died, then, the other would have two years’ time to grieve completely, without any worries over monetary matters.
I’d asked a close friend to help me with the papers. And, although now, we’re allow to set up a friend as the beneficiary, but, after, when we’re to make the claims, we’d still need to provide the proofs of death, and, this process, we may have difficulties with one another’s family members. Although we are both, quite close to our separate families of origin, but, when it comes to money, it’s still, better safe than sorry, to not make it hard, for either of the parties.
And so, the rule I insisted on the insurance claims was, “Shu did not need a proof of death for me, in order to get the insurance payments”. I’m not being difficult or anything like that, but I’d not wanted to put Shu in the position, of grieving over me, and at the same time, having to fight my family members too.
In the end, the agent had, finally found a way to work, so long as we’d put our direct relatives as our beneficiaries, then, adjust the rates of the pay-offs, after I’d died, when my family provided the proof of death, then, the insurance agency will give out the proportions of the claims to them. Although, we’d gone around the long way, it’d taken away Shu’s privileges partially, it was, the best way we could find.
And so, we’d bought our separate insurances, and, ten-percent of it goes to our mothers, and, ninety-percent to each other. With this “grief fund”, I can, leave, in peace.
This, was the very first time I’d felt that there’s so much trials in being a same-sex couple.
And now, as Shu had been diagnosed with cancer, we’d needed to face more trials, in the medical treatment rights front, although the 63rd and 64th amendments said that “related individual” also had the rights to decide on medical treatments, but, when it comes to the serious decisions like amputations, tracheotomy, DNR, along with other emergency situations, the hospitals, in order to not being sued for responsibilities, they’d insisted on the next-of-kin signing the papers.
And the medical front is like so, naturally, the custody rights, and the splitting of assets are treated like so too. How much hardships must we weather? Are we NOT two people who are in love? Why do we need to put up with this sort of a discrimination?
Is Taiwan really treating the homosexual couples equally? With, absolutely, NO discriminations whatsoever?
I’d hung up the phones, looked out the window. There’s a light drizzle now, with the sun still shining out, the drizzles cleaned up the streets of Ren-Ai Road. The cabdriver had the air-conditioning on full-blast, played the Taiwanese music. The small cab seemed to have become an entirely different universe now, quiet, cooling, the car was driving, very slowly and evenly, did I, drop, through a wormhole, into a different universe? Why is the outside world so beautiful, and I’d needed to face up to so much ugliness?
Why am I and Shu were just strangers legally?
I’d wiped away my tears, looked out at the lighted and cleared up streets, and, all of a sudden, I’d realized, that this world is NOT at all, beautiful, that it’s, very FAKE!
So, this, is the trials of life that same-sex partners would face in the real world, and, so what IF there are laws, legalizing same-sex marriages everywhere now? The rights of those same-sex couples are still NOT the same as the rights of husband and wife relationships, so, it’s still, a VERY long way away, from equality here, and that, is what the homosexual population must cope with on a day-to-day basis!
Life, the Obstacle Course 