Translated…
A good friend I’d known for fifteen years called me up, she’d rarely spoke of her mother-in-law, she was very upset, “My husband just got into a fight with my mother-in-law on my behalf, my mother-in-law was angered at how he’d spoke on my, an outsider’s behalf, talked back to his parents. Did I, make troubles for him?”, this reminded me of what happened to me, when I just got married.
My husband is an only son, from a single-parent family, he couldn’t feel at ease about his mother living alone on her own, so, after we were wed, we’d lived in my mother-in-law’s house with her, but, we had differences of habits and opinions, which caused the two of us to have multiple frictions. I’d often had to cry, dry up my eyes, kept working hard to get along with her, worked hard, to make sure, that my mother-in-law is happy.
Until one time when we were offering to the ancestors, I’d bought an already prepared item, thought that it would save my mother-in-law the troubles of cooking everything up from scratch, but my mother-in-law was furious with me, “Do you NOT know, that these things can harm the body? Is that what you’d been feeding your husband?”, then, she’d started, talking down on me, and, I finally CRACKED too, shouted back at her, “I will NEVER buy it again! It’s enough! Stop it already!” after that, I ran out the door, and, tears started falling, as I walked, and I’d called my husband for help.
That very evening, my husband went to talk to my mother-in-law, asked her to stop being so picky, and to not get in the mindset of that her son or daughter-in-law is to put up with her bad temper. My mother-in-law felt taken, shouted out to my husband, “why are you speaking on behalf of your wife? I am, your mother!” my husband told her, “I’m not speaking on the behalf of my wife, I’m speaking on the behalf of my friend. Like how when someone misunderstood your friends, and you’d speak up for them too, it’s just that the person in this relationship is your daughter-in-law.”
Becoming a wife, entering into a brand new environment, we’d still had to hypnotize ourselves into believing, that “my husband’s household is MY household”, only for the sake of being together with the one we loved, and, if the person who took you into his home couldn’t even stand UP for you, what would be the purpose, of staying in this sort of a marriage?
I’d told my girlfriend, that she shouldn’t feel that she was imposing on her husband, he has the courage, to stand up for you, do give him commends for it, and change this love he has for you into action on your part, give back to your family. This, is one step, for us, daughter-in-law, to be better and stronger for our separate families.
And so, because this woman has a very understanding husband, she’d not felt alone, in her mother-in-law’s household, but most of the times, the “boys” have difficulties, standing UP to their mommies, which is exactly why, a LOT of us, are fighting this god DAMN war ourselves! But, this is not the case in the above at all, because she has a very supporting, very reasonable husband.
Life, the Obstacle Course 