The thoughts of a stepmother here, in need of sound advice, a Q&A, translated…
Q: My husband didn’t care that I’d just had surgery, still puts his daughter first…
Because her ex had affairs and was in debt, H, who ended her first marriage wrote, that now, she has a second marriage, the man is a single dad, with a seven-year-old daughter with his ex-wife. H who works as a designer of purses in Taipei makes better salaries compared to her husband; for the sake of marriage, H moved to Tainan, where her husband lives, and adjusted her work, now, she just drew out the designs from home, and so, she’d made half of what she used to make. After the marriage, her husband took charge of the ho9usehold expenses, and the only request he’d made of H was that she loved his daughter well.
But this also became the biggest problem between the two of them. H felt, that before they married, her husband had put her first in everything, but after they wed, he’d placed his daughter as the first on his priorities list. They did NOT have a banquet, didn’t have a honeymoon, and the date that they went to register as a couple WAS on his daughter’s birthday, and, he’d taken his daughter along on their wedding photo sessions………none of these, H minded, but she felt, that her husband had, spoiled his daughter, he’d buy three kinds of breakfasts, for his daughter to choose from, and he’d carried her every time they’d gone out, and blamed H for not loving his child enough. H had objected to this to him, “I will become emotionally unbalanced if you keep doing this”, and the husband said to her, coldly, “Then, continue feeling unbalanced then!”
H and her families both believed, that she’d, given too much, and now she’s diagnosed with cancer, came back home to Taipei for her treatments, and her husband didn’t come along, even told her, that she has her side of the family when she’s going under the knife. For the sake of saving her own life, H had a hysterectomy, and, for this serious surgery, her husband still refused to come up north to accompany her, it’d made H doubt, that is her husband ready to abandon her, because she’d lost her ability to carry a child for him?
And, while she had fallen ill, it was, her stepdaughter’s kindergarten graduation, H rushed back to Tainan to be there. At which time, she’d needed the support from her husband, and his absence had made H feel very awful, she said, that she loved him dearly, and don’t want to be separated from him from here on out, she doesn’t know what to do.
A My Advice:
Love is when two people’s hearts are beating at the same rates, and clearly, the situation is not so right now. For H who’s about to have a major surgery, the most important thing for her is to keep up her spirits, to focus, on keeping her health intact. Love can only come after life, focus on getting treated, get your health back, that, is the most important thing you need to do.
So, the “expert” here suggested that this woman DISREGARD everything else, and just focus on getting her cancer treatments, but, she won’t be able to, because she’s married now, and feels that her husband only cared about his daughter, and, because she has a chance, of losing her reproductive tendencies, that, is why the husband had become cold toward her, and this still just shows how SELFISH you losers are, when we women LOSE our abilities to carry, you want to dump us? Whatever happened to In sickness & in health, for better or for worse, blah, blah, b-l-a-h? Oh yeah, I forgot, they’re just L-I-E-S, aren’t they!