What the kids are needing, from you, PARENTS!!! Translated…
My friend had been troubled for a very long time because of the estrangement between her and her son, she’d asked me, to interact with her son who’s in the doctoral program more, hoped to better understand what’s going on in his mind, and help him improve his interpersonal skills.
She’d listed out the areas of research her son was doing, for instance, quantum physics and the theory of relativity, so I can find more conversation topics with him. After I’d read through the list, I couldn’t help but make fun of her, “No wonder you’re having troubles with parent-child interactions, you need to be your son’s friend, NOT his professor!” after she’d heard, she’d gotten that wakeup call, because since her son was growing up, all she’d cared about, was his grades.
She kept believing, that by monitoring her son’s academic performances was showing her care and concern toward him, but actually, the child needs the adult to care about him as a “human being”, nothing more. Some mommies would worry endlessly about the children, without realizing, that those worries are unnecessary to the child, to the point that these cares and concerns became nags to the child.
Like my friend, she’d LINED her son all day long but, most of the time, her son read through it, but doesn’t reply, and I’d suggested her, not to LINE him that often anymore, that if something really IS up, call him up, and talk to him, don’t rely on communications apps to do it. After all, face-to-face interactions works way better than using a communications app, and it could transfer the sense of care and concerns that the parents feel for the children more.
And so, this woman needed to change her ways of interacting with her son, and, how you’re doing in school shouldn’t be the ONLY concerns that parents have over their children who are away in college, and the role of parents need to change as the child grows older, and how that can be managed can only be gained through the experiences of the years, unless you have the foresights for it, but NOT very many people do, so…
Life, the Obstacle Course 