Can You Give Me a Hand?

Translated…

A friend nicknamed “Airplane” called me up, asked, “Are you feeling better lately?  Can you help me out here?”

He was once a homeless person who wandered the streets, we’d known one another for a long time, we’d shared conversations, shared the experiences of life with each other.  Although his work of selling items on the streets isn’t stable lately, but he’d never wanted to trouble anybody, and didn’t want to become someone else’s burdens, and rarely asked for my help.

“Sure, shall we meet at the station?”, I didn’t ask anything else, without another word, I put on my sneakers, hopped on my bike, and headed to where we used to meet up.  He’d rarely made a request, although I didn’t know if it’s his health, or that there are other emergencies, but, I’m sure that it would be very important.

I’d passed through the busy streets, he was not far off.  I saw him, waving at me, smiling he looked very well.   He’d handed me a gift-wrapped box, “Can you help me finish this food?”  oh, it’s sausage, good for barbeque, as a side dish.

Turns out, the gift box was from a reader, the moment the person bought the magazines from him, the person had handed him the gift box with a heart of joy, “This, is a gift that our company gave us for the Mid-Autumn Festivals, I’m sharing it with you.”  The warmth from the interaction that was from the exchange was behind this gift, it’s just, that after Airplane had a stroke, it’s not easy for him to carry heavy things, but, he thought how it would make the person who gave him the gift feel, and so, he’d still took it.

“So, I was reminded of you, you live close by, it’s most fitting to be given to you.”  As he’d said it, I felt, somewhat ashamed, I’d rarely gone out these past few weeks because I was ill, and I’d rarely thought about him.  Although, humans are an excited animal when we received a gift, but, the heaviness from the gift naturally costs a lot, and, I just couldn’t take it, because I didn’t do anything to deserve it, “Why didn’t you tell me you have a gift for me, instead, told me that you needed my assistance on something?”

“Because you might turn me away, just like how I would’ve turned away from that office worker too.”  Yeah, sure, it doesn’t feel good, getting turned down, I’d nodded, but still hesitant.

He’d told me, that there was a young bum in the park, that he’d sorted through the garbage for food, he’d even drank from other people’s leftover juice bottles.  One day, Airplane decided to share a banana with him, but, he’d turned him down.

Why?  I couldn’t understand it.

Airplane explained to me: from the other person’s angle, finishing what someone threw away is “helping” to get rid of the garbage; but, accepting the foods from someone else, is accepting a handout.  Helping is something that can make you feel proud, so, everybody wants to become someone who helps someone else out, but nobody wants to be given a handout.

“and so, I’d learned to be more humble, to lower my status even more,” Airplane said, then, handed me the right to say yes or to say no.

I’d told him, thank you.

Thank you, for allowing me to help you out.

So, there’s the matter of watching out for someone’s pride, because by giving something to someone, it feels to the receiver, that you’re giving them a handout, and, nobody wants to be in a position like that, so that, is why the man learned to give people a choice, and that, is how he was able to become well-rounded in his interpersonal relationships.