To Our Miscarried Child

It is difficult, having a miscarriage, translated…

Because of my husband’s work, my three-year-old son and I would go to and from Chungli and Shenzhen.  My son loved playing with children his age, and would rant on about how he’d wanted to play with the other kids in the neighborhood, and that sparked the thought of having another child for us.

At the start of the year, I got pregnant as I’d hoped to, and, everything followed, the nausea, the drowsiness, the bleeding, the speeding up of my heartrate, the symptoms all came, one by one, in order to keep my pregnancy well, I’d taken my son back to Taiwan to live.  And still, fate was against me, as I’d gone from my ultrasound examinations by week twenty-one, the doctor discovered, that the fetus had an underdeveloped heart; the doctor immediately transferred me to a specialist, and, after two doctors’ opinions, they’d suggested that I have an abortion.  Lying there, on the examination bed, I’d started, crying, uncontrollably, like someone took a knife, and, cut off a piece of my heart, it hurt, so, very awfully………

Today was the three month since I’d had my abortions, I’d wanted to tell this child who never made it: thank you, for working so hard, to grow up, thank you, for being mommy’s child for only five months, but, it was, way too short, at the end, mommy still wasn’t able to, keep you.  And, do remember, that mommy, daddy, and your older brother, we all love you a lot, mommy believes, that everything happens for a reason, thank you, for bringing our family closer to each other, to let us cherish everything we are sharing right now.  Do remember, to rest up, by the side of the Buddha, and, return back to earth, to become mommy’s child again, mommy loves you.

Aft4er this, my husband and I finally realized, that life is far more important, compared to work, and decided to change our paces, to try to have this baby that we weren’t able to keep again.

So, this, was what came out of her miscarriage, she’d gone through the loss from her aborted fetus, because it was not formed correctly, and, she’d started to, readjust her lifestyle, slowed down, appreciating what she has more.