Translated…
The night you were born, I’d endured through the most excruciating pain my body had ever known, but, when I saw those rosy cheeks, and those twinkling eyes, I’d felt the biggest kind of bliss in my life.
As your dad was holding you, he was also, very moved, we’d named you, Chi-Yo, hoping that you’ll be happy and healthy for life. We’d stared at your cute face as you fell asleep, I thought we’d live on as a happy family together.
But, with the passing of time, I’d realized, that your eyes no longer turned in wonderment, that you’d lost that look of glow on you, I’d rarely saw you smile; and even as I picked up a toy and tried to get your attention, you’d not responded to me, you’d even started to turn and walk away from me. You’re three years old already, and you have yet to call me “mom”, my original skies of happiness suddenly, was draped over by this dark and shadowy cloud.
When the doctor diagnosed you as autistic, I felt the world spinning nonstop, actually, I’d just wanted to ask God, WHY, did you have this condition? You have yet to experience the world, you don’t know what beauties there are in the world yet, why are you closing the door on the world? Even casted me outside. Although, I felt knife slicing at my heart, I couldn’t lie to myself again. After I’d discussed it with your dad, I’d quit my job, and took care of, looked after you wholeheartedly, you are our son, and, NO matter what, we will NEVER give up on you!
Every day, I’d held your hands, as I taught you how to write, we’d written “mom” endless number of times, then, I’d taught you to read it, and, although you didn’t react at all, but I’d still hoped, that you could, call me “mom” out of the blue one day. Until the morning six months later, I saw you drew a sun on the walls.
I was stunned, as I’d stared at that sun on the walls, to the point of disbelief, even, turns out, you didn’t completely lock this world outside, you’d still opened up a very small window, so the sunlight can come in. That light also gave me a ton of hope, it’d driven me to buy a ton of markers for you, so you can learn to draw on the papers. A year later, I saw that you drew a woman’s head down, although the lines weren’t at all straight, but I knew, that you were, drawing mom.
All of a sudden, tears filled my eyes, actually, you’d always known, that I’m your mom, right? Eighteen years flashed by quick, after a ton of hard work, you’re about to put on an exhibit for your friends and families now, I felt unreal, is the wish I’d wished so hard for, and for so long about to finally come true?
Although you’d never opened your lips up to talk, but, you’d already accepted this world, using an alternative method, I’m more than satisfied of that already. But, I’d still feel regretful from time to time, that I may never hear you call me “mom” ever.
On the way to your show, I had a car crash, I must admit, how bad I was, at the most important moment of your life, I’d gotten into a car crash. In the hard working mannerisms of the paramedics, I’d finally regained consciousness, seeing how your father was bent over, as he watched over me, I felt, very ashamed, all these years, I’d paid a ton of attention to you, forgot to show cares and concerns toward him. Your father is aged too.
Turning my head around, I saw you, sitting, dumbfounded by the bed, I’d pulled on your hand, said, “Yo, when will you finally call me ‘mom’? Mom had waited for twenty-one years, I don’t think I can wait anymore.”
I’d not held on to my hopes, but, I saw your lips moved.
I’d held my breath, “Yo, what did you just say?”
“Mom, mom”.
So, this is the impact of having a special needs child in one’s home, and, the mother had given the son endless love, and, she’d finally got her wish, for her son to call her mom, it’s a moment of sweetness, mixed in, with the bitterness from all those previous years of hardship that the family had gone through.
Life, the Obstacle Course 