On parent-child interactions, translated…
I have a child who loves to read, also one that doesn’t like to read at all.
When my firstborn entered into elementary school, after he could read the Chinese phonetic alphabets, I’d gone to the libraries and checked out a lot of books for him to thumb through, he would sit there quietly, and finish reading the books, one by one, and asked me if there are more. I thought, it’s a good thing that my child loves to read, although there are only hard covered versions of children’s literature, and it’s very heavy, checking them out and returning them is no easy task, but, I’d still made the trips to and from the libraries for his sake. Although the books I’d checked out for him would be placed all over the house by me, he’d still picked them up one by one, and read through them all, I’d started getting amazed at myself, at what a studious child I’d managed to have.
When my second child was starting in elementary school, I’d realized, that he doesn’t pick up one single book at all. Although his school assignment was for him to read two books, he’d stalled, and then, picked out two very thin volumes, and flipped through them carelessly, and told me he was done. I believed that he had a bad attitude to learning, and would usually have him read the books again, and I’d quizzed him on what he read too. Several times, I’d gotten really annoyed, and he’d started, ignoring me too; the stricter I’d gotten with him, the more rebellious he’d become.
After a short while, I’d changed my mindset, a child who doesn’t like to read, that doesn’t necessary mean that he had no future, and a child who loves to read doesn’t mean that he’ll have a smooth sailing scholastic career either; if I’d forced reading onto my child, then, it would do more bad than good. As I was growing up, there were no reading assignments, but, when I became older, I’d wanted to find out more about the various areas of expertise, and I’d looked up the books on my own, and, this sort of self-directed reading is more intrinsic, and I’d gotten more from what I’d read.
On the issue of reading, you just have to let it be, forcing your child to read wouldn’t do the trick, it may even cause tensions between you and your children, and that wouldn’t be worth it, to throw your relationship away because of reading.
So, this parent decided to let go of her other child who didn’t like to read, and it’s because her first child loved to read so very much that she’d unknowingly placed that expectation of you must love to read onto her second child, then, after she realized, that pushing her other child to read books only made him hate reading more, that, was when the mother stopped, because she realized, that children are smart in their separate ways, and, just because one child didn’t like to read, that still don’t mean that he won’t excel in the future, and besides, this, is the new age, where so long as you have a viable skill, you can make it, studying is no longer the ONLY choice!
no, not my photograph…
Life, the Obstacle Course 