On how to deal with the separation, the crying, on that very FIRST day of school, advice to parents, translated…
“Recently, Sam started school, and, he’d refused to part ways with his grandparents, cried, all the way, as we’d taken him into the classrooms. It’s been happening for days on end, what, do we do?” Mrs. Chang enjoys calling her son by his English name.
Sam was, hiding in his mom’s arms.
“You’re going to be late for school now? What’s keeping him so busy at home in the mornings?”, I’d asked his mom.
“He’d needed to go to the bathrooms, wanted some water, changing his pencils, a lot of things are all happening at once. Sam’s grandparents spoiled him, whatever he’d asked them for, they’d quickly, gone and gotten it, and placed it in his hands, it’s just a drag, trying to get him ready for school.” Mrs. Chang sighed lightly, and, her face had that expression of helplessness.
As the summers come to an end, there would be a group of young kids, being prepared, to make the transitions from home to school, to start in this unknown world. Especially for the kids who just entered kindergarten, or the elementary years, in their homes, they can have the undivided attention of their loved ones, and now, they’re a part of a group, entered into the world. Sitting together, next to those other kids whom they do or don’t like at all; the tall teacher who’s totally unfamiliar to them, standing at the front of the classes, grilling them on the rules they should be following, and, they’re graded, for their performances too, and rushed, to comprehend the difficult lessons.
The Nature of Learning IS Failure
The stuff in the texts, are all new to those starting school. If the child already learned it, like the Chinese phonetic alphabets, then, the instructors were merely, giving her/him an extra opportunity to review it, it’s not learning. The definition of learning is “through instructions, gaining a better understanding of a brand new subject, or an area that’s new”. In other words, the process of learning IS filled with failures. The child’s ability to withstand pressures, after s/he starts school, will be challenged. And the kids who don’t have enough abilities, or those who are behind, will quickly, show out.
And so, this, would be how important, that you NEED to train your kids to fail, because, on the way to growing up, there are going to be instances, when the children won’t succeed, like getting a BAD grade on a test, and, if you don’t help your kid by instilling the right kinds of values, then, the child will easily CRACK, and that won’t be good at all!
The Competition Among the Peers in School
The older brother, Bo is two years older than the younger brother, Bao, and so, it would be normal, for him, to exceed his younger brother in all ways. Compared to Bao, his older brother learned more quickly, ran faster, and interacted well with the adults, so, naturally, he’d gotten his self-confidence. And still, when Bo started school, he saw, that there were, kids his age, who are also, fast runners, jump higher, they all have separate, but equally important qualities, and his original self-confidence became challenged. If Bo can successfully compete with others, then, he may be able to, stick it out for a bit. If not, and the teachers and parents didn’t give him a hand in time, allowing Bo to adapt on his own, the process would naturally be a whole lot harder.
So, because you’re the eldest, you naturally know more than your younger siblings, but, when you start school, you’re faced with kids your age, and, there are, a LOT of other children with whom you feel the need to compete with, and, if there’s no mental readiness before the kid gets “shipped off” to school, then, the kid will naturally have a HELL of a time, adapting, and it would be a SHOCKER to the kid, that s/he is NO longer excellent as s/he was previously led to believe when s/he is just interacting with the members of one’s own families.
Don’t Underestimate the Child’s Ability to Adapt
This, is an inevitable process of growth, also, the nature of growing up. The children has a greater capacity to adapt, to adjust themselves, more so than the parents had believed, it’s just, that it’s harder for the adults, they’d needed more “defense mechanisms”. Like an electric charger, at first, it can only be charged little by little, before the charger adapts to getting a larger volume, it can only, get rid of the electric charges slowly, and from time to time, it’d black out, to prevent the machine from burn out. This sort of “self-protection” is called, “defense mechanisms” in psychology, it’s a reasonable psychological coping mechanism, in the reasonable ways, protecting us.
So, you should, allow your kid to touch that burning stove for her/himself, that way, s/he’d learn for her/himself, that this IS hot, and I shouldn’t touch, and, it is, important, for parents, to learn to let go, when the kids are younger, because the longer you parents stalled on letting go, the harder it would be, for you to let go, as letting go should be done, step, by step.
There’s a Need, to Release the Feelings
When the children started wailing or are unhappy, on certain level, it’s releasing that excess energy, after going through the conflicts, adjusting on one’s own. If the adults stepped in at this time, it’d added even more things that the child needed to handle, causing the child to not understand the reason for her/his own upset. An example of this is a child who’d just started school would cry and not go to school.
Because this would be the kids’ first time in school, there’s a LOT of new things that they’d never encountered before, and, there’s also, NO way of preparing them beforehand, and so, upset is normal, and, at this time, parents should treat the kids getting upset as a “normalcy”, and not just rush in, to resolve the problems for their young.
not my kid, OR my picture…
Life, the Obstacle Course 