The mind of a woman, translated…
Been married three years now, Ms. He is still somewhat, resistant to others calling her “Mrs. Hsia”.
Don’t get me wrong, Ms. He and Mr. Hsia fell in love on their own, there’s NO problem in their marriage AT all. It’s just, that she doesn’t feel comfortable, when someone refers to her as “Mrs. Hsia”.
Mr. Hsia made fun of her for being so calculating, that it was just a name, is it, that serious? Yes, a name may not be that big a deal, but, Ms. He just hated how it felt “natural” to others, and how she felt being taken for granted.
She felt taken, why after they were wed, how Mr. Hsia who said he didn’t care at all, when someone called him, “Mr. He”, he’d gotten angered, “a man does NOT change his last name! That, was an AWFUL guy!”, and yet, Ms. He must “bury her own last name” so naturally, and becomes Mrs. Hsia?
Even, when Ms. He was called Mrs. Hsia, she’d not only have the place to get angry, she’d also had to be careful as she’d told the person calling her Mrs. Hsia, “I think it’s best that you continue to call me Ms. He”, including putting up with the speculations from the other person, “hmmmmmmmmm, she must not be getting along with her husband at all!”, and, “Are they a normal husband and wife?”, and following, Mr. Hsia would get angered because he felt he’d lost face, and called her calculating.
Is it really, that ladies are calculating? It’s just a name, just rearranging your household registries, along with other nitty-gritty, unimportant, minute details………surely, all of these, are “smaller matters”. Then, being called, “Mr. He”, saying that a man is married to a woman, after the marriage, the guy moved his household registry to the wife’s, going to visit the wife’s family on New Year’s and his own home on the day after, what, does it matter? Are these not all, smaller matters?
Ms. He just couldn’t wrap her mind around it, how come her husband who’d called her “nickel and dime” on everything, in this sort of a hypothetical situation, can get angry like so? Ms. He hoped, that all of these matters will one day, be reduced to no big deal, there’s no “taken for granted”, how it’s “normally” done.
This autumn, Ms. He will have a baby of her own, and, being called, “Mrs. Hsia” would come natural to her then. In feeling the bliss, Ms. He still worried, she feared, that after awhile, she will forget about her identity, forget whether if she’s “Ms. He”, that she’s a miss, or that she’s a “He”.
So, this, is the traditional Chinese belief of how after we women married, we should TAKE our husbands’ last names, but hey, why, must we? Why can’t we keep our own last names, after all, OUR last name came first to your last names, didn’t it???
Life, the Obstacle Course 