Difficulties of the parents here, a Q&A, translated…
Q: Can’t Get into the Children’s Online World
“Why won’t you add me as your FB friend?”, “Are you discussing something on FB that you don’t want me to know about?”, since Ting-Ting got a Facebook account, she’d often gone online, to interact with her classmates, and given each other kudos. Her mom who’s right next to her was curious, what, are kids talking about these days, she’d sent numerous friendship offers to Ting-Ting, but, each and every time, she’d denied being her mother’s friend. It’d made her mother wonder, how come Ting-Ting is right in front of her, but, she feels like she’s million miles apart online.
An-An who’s a six grader became drawn into the online world, especially, he’d enjoyed checking his FB account and playing online games, every day, he’d spent more than two hours online. The parents reminded him to take a break, but, An-An kept stalling, didn’t want to get online. But recently, his mom found, that An-An became “abnormal”, didn’t enjoying logging on. After his mom inquired, she’d found, that he’d joked on FB with his classmate, and she thought he was insulting her, and she’d gotten mad, and stopped talking to An-An, causing him to be depressed.
A Getting Drawn in to Social Networking Online, Getting Away from the Controls of the Parents?
- As you’d signed up for an account on Facebook, it’d asked you to be at least thirteen, and, a lot of the parents didn’t know this rule, and there must be a TON of kids from the elementary years who are falsifying their age to get an account.The clinical psychologist, Yi-Zhong Wang stated, that the children wanting to use Facebook, they must have SmartPhones, computer or an iPad, etc., etc. etc., but if the parents didn’t buy the electronics for them, then, the kids couldn’t get it. I advise, that before parents agreed to buy, they need to understand why the kids want to use Facebook, to post articles online, to interact, trade messages with their classmates, or, “because all my classmates have, so I want too”, being pressured by the peers.The Parents Have the Right to SurveilWang said, that in the elementary years, the children are under thirteen, plus they are all underage, the parents HAS the right and the obligation to control their usage. At this time, the parent-child relationship became like a coach and driver of driving class, the children are “unlicensed drivers”, and parents must be next to them, keeping watch.Yi-Zhong Wang suggested, that kids can NOT add the parents as “friends” on Facebook, but, they MUST agree that the parents can read what’s going on on their “walls”. The parents should log on from time to time, to see if the children are posting pictures that aren’t appropriate, are they being cyberbullied, are they harassing someone, breaching someone else’s copyright rights, or posting photos that aren’t appropriate. For the sake of protecting the young, the parents MUST keep a close look.And so, this, is one way to resolve the addiction to hi-tech products, but, you have to admit, with these modern day advances, it’s really hard, to not get addicted, and, a lot of self-control is needed in this.
- The web is more and more convenient, a lot of people became the “Lowered Heads” with their eyes glued to the cell phones. But the specialist in parent-child relationship, Peng remind the parents to set an example for the young, to not get “glued” to the phones often. For instance, at a family gathering, if everybody is attentive to what’s going on in their cell phones, then, “we no longer need the gatherings”, put up the cell phones from time to time, and interact with the children more.
- Put Up the Cell Phones, to Increase Face-to-Face Interactions
- Facebook had become, the most often used social networking, a lot of parents hoped that they could keep tabs on their children’s friendships and goings-on of their lives. But, based off of the surveys conducted by Gold Car Foundation, thirty-seven percent of children in the elementary years don’t want their parents as their “friends” on Facebook, and, in the middle school years, the percentage rose to forty-three, and, in high school, forty-four percent. It’d showed, that as the children age, they may fear embarrassment, not wanting the families to worry so they don’t tell, or wanted to run from the controls of the parents.
- Yi-Zhong Wang said, that before allowing the children to use the cell phones, the parents should tell the kids the rules of the game, to make up agreements, that even though, the kids are the owners of the cell phones, but they couldn’t use it unlimitedly. For instance, no cell phones at school, and limit the time of usage daily, like thirty minutes or an hour a day. After the rules are set, the children can’t “breach” the boundaries, once the rules of the game were broken, then, the parents should confiscate the cell phones, or reduce the time the kids can have online as punishment.
- Make the Rules of Use Clear