Experiences of life, as a mother, translated…
At five in the evenings, my son went for a swim at the community pool, he’d told me he was going to be home by seven for supper, but, the clock on the wall shows that it’s past eight, and he’s still nowhere to be seen, what, could have happened? Because he’d stayed up all night to log online, he’d become not focused enough, so he’d started cramping, drowned? His motorcycle got stolen, he’s looking for his ride all over the places? Bumped into bad teenagers, and gotten into a fight, taken into the police station to be questioned? Or, could it be, that because of how dimly lit the streets were, he’d fallen while riding his motorcycle home, and without his cell with him, he’s waiting on someone to come by and help him? Or, could it be, that swimming was his excuse, he’d headed to the net cafés to play online games, and having a ton of fun?
There were a ton of bad news on the news stations, and, they all flashed across my mind, until eight thirty, I’d heard my son called out, “I’m home!”, I’d immediately opened up the door, seeing that he’s all right, my mind was finally put to rest.
After I’d become a mother, I’d learned what it is, to feel worried. Being this tense, could I be, overreacting? One time, I’d thumbed across the papers, with an interview with the American-Chinese writer, Amy Tan, it’d told of why she chose not to be a mother at the age of past fifty, the report stated, that she and her husband had decided a very long time ago, that they don’t want any kids, the reason was quite simple: they wanted to have their own lives; another reason being, “I fear that I’d become a worrywart mother.” So, I’d slowly let go, turns out, that whether or not we have the foresights, all parents are the same.
When I thought I was ready to be a mother, I’d finally welcomed my child to this world, until my son’s curiosities of the world gets more and more, and stayed away from home more and more often, I’d finally understood what it’s meant, to be a “worrywart mother”—because the real world, is totally out of our control.
My child would complained on how I’m a nagging mom I suppose? But, whenever my birthday rolls around, my son would always tell me happy birthday, and would buy my favorite chocolate cake too; my daughter wrote a card, said, “No worries, mom, I know what I’m supposed to do.”
As I enjoyed the cake, I’d chewed on the words, “no worries”, and it felt especially sweet and heartwarming, what’s meant by “you don’t know the hardships of parenthood until you’d started raising your own young”, the kids still can’t get, that the parents’ worrying over them can’t be rid of, even IF you are a master.
Changing my thoughts, how much worries I carry for my kids, wouldn’t that equal the amount of worries my parents felt over me? This “illness” that’s common to ALL parents, still hadn’t found a cure to date yet.
As parents, we are bound to worry about the kids, and that, is normal, but, if you allowed your excessive worries to become burdensome to your own young, like his DEAD mother’s worries affected me from way back, then, you’re NOT doing a good job as parents, plus, children have their own FATES, so, STOP worrying, parents!
Life, the Obstacle Course 