The Dutch Way of Education

Translated…

In Holland, there would be jars of candy by the cashiers’ checkout counters, and, as the cashiers saw parents with children, they’d asked the parents if the children can have some candies? And, before the cashiers opened up the jars, they would always ask the parents for permissions, they wouldn’t just hand the candies out to all the children.

I’d often decided based off of the situations, sometimes, we’d gone to the supermarkets before suppers, and I wouldn’t want my children to have any candy, and I’d told the cashiers no thanks. Later on, as we’d traveled to other countries, and strangers would see how cute my daughter was and start giving her treats, and the treats are already in her hand, and so, I wouldn’t take it from her, but, children have limited appetite, and, if they’d had too much of the treats, then, they wouldn’t be able to eat their regular meals. What’s seemingly an act of affection from others, had caused the parents a ton of stress.

Based off of my observations, even if it was a relative or close family friend, they’d rarely butt into how other people are teaching their young. They normally believed, that the education of the young rests with the children’s parents themselves, and others have NO business or right, to meddle.

My friend who’s married to a Dutch man said, that one time at a family gathering, her two-and-a-half year-old nephew, after he’d had his serving of desserts, wanted some more, and, the maternal grandmother naturally wanted to give it to the child, but the child’s mother said no, even AS the child started throwing his temper tantrum, the mother still wouldn’t budge, she’d told the family, “I’m his mother, whatever I say goes. He’d already had his share of desserts, too much sugar will make him overly excited, and he would have troubles sleeping, later on”, back then, the child’s maternal grandmother didn’t DARE say anything else.

This sort of mutual respects allowed the parents to maintain their principles of teaching their young, and children wouldn’t get spoiled, causing this win-win situation, that, was a lesson that the Dutch people had taught me.

Because there’s only ONE mother of the child, and so, naturally the mothers SHOULD get the final say on how the child is educated, and, this way, there would be chances that the young will find holes to squeeze into, because the family respected the fact, that the woman has the right to teach her own son, and whatever she said goes!