Giving the Right to Decide to the Child

On parenting, translated…

My daughter, from her infancy stages, she’d started showing self-control, she’d never cried endlessly for no reasons at all.  Only once as my husband came home late, she’d refused to go to bed, kept asking me for her bedtime stories; I’d lost patience, and I’d grabbed the duster, and smacked her tiny hands, as I was about to smack her again, my daughter frowned and told me, “Hurt, mommy, don’t hit, I behave.”  All of a sudden, I got knocked off my chair and came to understand, that because I was in a foul mood, that, was why I’d lost patience with my child; ever since, I’d never hit her again, my husband had never even yelled at, let alone, hit her.

The way we educated our child, we don’t focus on her scholastic performance or her talents, we believed that “playing” is the primary assignment of her childhood years, unless my daughter asked, then, we’d arranged her to take up the talents she was interested in.  For instance, at age four, she was interested in piano, and, my husband and I took her to meet the teacher first, and told her, that she can’t just give up on what she’d wanted to do easily.  We’d trained her to be very disciplined since she was very young, she was told, to sit at the tables for her meals, and we wouldn’t allow her to play and eat at the same time, and, if she doesn’t eat her regular meals, before the next meal was served, she would get NO snacks, so she could learn to take responsibilities for her own behaviors.

Before meals or bath time, we’d give her some free time, to finish up what she’s originally doing, we wouldn’t force her to immediately do what we asked her to, other than showing respect toward what she was doing in the moment, we’re also teaching her how to manage her time on her own.

And, the choices of majors in school, we’d naturally allowed her to choose on her own, because we respect, and know, that she will find her own path in life, I’m really glad, that my daughter can have fun, growing up too.

And so, this, is how one parent’s view on how she managed to raise an autonomous child, she’d allowed her daughter to make the decisions for herself since she was quite young, and, the parents set the rules up, and allowed the child to choose whether or not she wanted to follow them, and, if she doesn’t, she takes responsibilities for NOT following her parents’ rules.