Translated…
As children grown to become adults, work and marriage became the two areas that the parents cared about the most.
My good friend, L’s son works in a public office, if he could have a good marriage, then, he would become the most envied upon man in the neighborhood. It’s just, that things didn’t go as she’d wished, her son many years ago, quit his public post, and gone away, to make pottery projects.
L was so mad at her son, for giving up a steady job, and felt regret toward how her son refused to get match made and marry. These two huge issues just won’t go as she’d wished, and, she was impacted by them greatly.
I told L, on the area of her son’s work, the elderly cared about the prospects; while the younger generations wanted to live their dreams, and so, naturally, they’d put their ideals as their first priorities, and so, it’d made the parents feel surprised. And, for the younger generations, as they’re about to make decisions, they wouldn’t consult their parents, the key is that the “parents would totally be against it”, in order to prevent from further arguments, that, was why they’d rather not tell their elders, causing the angers to flow between the parent and child continually.
In communicating between the parents and children, the parents shouldn’t use their status to pressure their young, because that’s a forceful order. On the matter of marriage, it’s exactly the same, the more the parents nagged on, the more the children would get annoyed, and in the very end, the kids would just, TUNE out the parents altogether. And, it’s a vicious cycle of parents, zooming in on the kids, and the kids, working hard, to dodge being surveilled, and, this would cause the stiffness in relating to one another.
The children wanted to get away from the parents, other than chasing their own dreams, another huge reason being how the parents don’t get along at all. Watching the parents fight nonstop, and the kids felt helpless, in keeping the harmony of the household, they either chose to escape from the environment, or, take it all in upon themselves, kids are having the hard times.
I’d once heard L’s son complained of how his parents don’t get along, and, I knew, that that, was the hardship that’s followed L for so very long. Their thirty years of marriage were filled with arguments, rather than harmony, and so, they both felt, “it’s too tiring”, but, no matter how tiring it gets, life still goes on. And, seeing how their son is so persistent in following his own dream, why not just let go of the worries, and, give their son a bit more support and affirmations, believe, as well as respect the son’s choice!
So, you can see, how this, is just NOT about the problem of the son’s choice in career now, it’s the WHOLE family that’s getting turned upside down, and the son’s straying from the parents’ wishes, quitting his public office post, to become a potter is only the TIP of the ICEBERG, the problem lies in the parents, and, if the parents don’t FIX whatever it is that was wrong, then, the kid (in this case, a grown man!) still gets STUCK in the middle.